Could it be that our children reject the Christian faith because of what they observe in our relationship with God, our spouse, and them?
When Jacob likely had his first encounter with God in a dream at Luz, he heard God’s voice, saw angels, and even described the place as the house of God- Bethel and the gate of heaven. Yet, despite this divine experience, he failed to make the God of his fathers his God and refused to walk with Him – in His way.
Why Did Jacob Not Make the Lord His God?
In that encounter, God introduced Himself as the God of Jacob’s father and grandfather—the God of Abraham and Isaac. However, Jacob did not immediately surrender to Him. Instead, he responded to God’s promise with a conditional vow:
“If God will be with me, keep me in this way that I go, give me bread to eat and raiment to put on, and bring me back to my father’s house in peace, then shall the Lord be my God.” (Genesis 28:20-21)
May our children’s encounters with God not end in mere possibilities of faith but in true submission to Him.
Do our children obey us out of fear or love? Even when Abraham sought to sacrifice his son, Isaac experienced his father’s faith in God and God’s love at Mount Moriah without fear of his father but with God’s covenant God born out of love. Abraham showed his son the requirements of the altar—worship, meaning absolute surrender to God’s will—and lived as an example. However, Jacob did not have the same foundation.
Timothy did not see the true faith in his father, but he saw it in his grandmother and mother, and he followed them. Lot’s daughters, despite having a righteous father, never saw a life of faith worth emulating.
Jacob hesitated to trust in God completely. He had likely observed the inconsistencies in his family and questioned whether the faith of his father was worth following. His father, Isaac, showed partiality, favoring Esau over him simply because of love for food – Esau’s venison. His mother, Rebekah, also had partial love, favoring Jacob and using deception to secure the blessing for him. Their home was filled with craftiness—Isaac secretly decides to go against God’s word and to give his blessing to the Esau, Rebekah schemed to overturn it, and Jacob learned to use cunning and deceit to get ahead.
Seeing these contradictions, Jacob may have thought: If this is the God of my parents, can He really help me? Will He make me inconsistent like my father and mother? Will He make my marriage divided like that of my parents? If I could use my own wisdom and schemes to secure the blessing that was rightfully mine (based on my agreement with Esau), and my father—who was supposed to have spiritual discernment—failed to perceive the truth, nor did his God expose me, then perhaps my own schemes are more reliable.
It was even more disdainful to both God and his father when Jacob deceived Isaac by invoking the name of God to justify his lie. When Isaac asked how he found the venison so quickly, Jacob replied, “Because the Lord your God brought it to me” (Genesis 27:20). He used spiritual language to cover up a lie, making it seem as though he trusted in God’s provision when, in reality, he was relying on his own cunning. This moment reveals how Jacob had learned the language of faith without true dependence on God—a problem that many children in religious homes face today.
Parental Influence on Faith
Jacob’s parents sent him to Syria, one of the countries where God had instructed their ancestors to leave and were promised with their seed the land of Canaan. Abraham had been clear—Isaac was never to return to the land of their nativity (including Syria). Yet, Isaac and Rebekah disregarded this, to the mother because of the intending conflict between her sons, but to the father, for Jacob to get a wife. The parents pushed Jacob into a trap where he had to navigate life without godly counsel. Left helpless, he chose self-reliance over faith.
Conflict in the home cannot be resolved by avoidance; it must be handled with God’s wisdom, leading the guilty to repentance and restoration. The flesh cannot accomplish the purpose of God—it only brings division.
Are We Pushing Our Children Away from Faith?
We won’t be with our children forever, but the greatest treasure we can give them is a life that reflects Christ through our relationship with our spouse, our children, and those around us. More than teaching them religious practices, we must show them how to have true communion with God—just as Abraham demonstrated to Isaac at Mount Moriah. That moment was not just about obedience but about trusting in God’s plan, His divine provision, and His eternal promise. Isaac was privileged to witness this and learnt God’s ways. He obeyed his old father and never revolted.
Fathers, do you yell at your wife, even in front of your children? Are you a tyrant husband? Do you show love to your wife? Do you show favoritism among your children? Do you fail to discern and nurture God’s purpose for their lives? Do you live a life that contradicts the faith you profess? Let us repent, trust God and honour one another.
Mothers, do you manipulate your husband through your children? Do you lie to get extra money for school fees or other needs? Do you disrespect and refuse to submit to your husband?
If we live like this, our children may grow up knowing the language of religion but never truly developing faith in God. Like Jacob, they may learn how to make vows, give tithes, build altars, and use religious terms such as house of God and gate of heaven. Yet none of these outward acts guarantee a surrendered heart. Jacob did all these things, yet he did not initially make the Lord his God but asked for material blessings. He journeyed forward in his own strength—an unbroken religious man and he gathered family and earthly wealth for 20 years under a closed heaven and at the end of those years that were all at risk of being scattered and his life destroyed.
Our children may master our religious practices but deny the faith if they do not see the reality of God’s power and love in our lives.
A Transactional Faith
When God promised Jacob His abiding presence and assured him of a safe return, Jacob still leaned on his own understanding. Jacob’s relationship at Bethel with God was transactional—If you give me Your presence, protect me, give me material blessings – food and clothes, and bring me back home safely, then You will be my God.
A genuine relationship with Jesus is not based on giving God conditions he has to meet before you serve Him, but it is all about releasing our all to God.
His proposed gift to God was not himself but material offerings—just as we see in many churches today. Worship has been reduced to buildings, offerings, and tithes, rather than absolute surrender to Jesus to be like Christ. Yet God rejected Cain’s offering because his life was not right with Him.
The fellowship of love that once defined the faith has been replaced by activities, buildings, offerings, and tithes. Is this all that our children see when they look at the church today? If so, what will become of the next generation? Have we reduced the transgenerational blessing of Abraham—the blessing meant to pass on faith, obedience, and an intimate walk with God—to material prosperity and religious programs?
Jacob had an encounter with God, yet he did not surrender. He built an altar, vowed to give a tithe, and used religious language, yet his heart remained unchanged. If all he understood from his personal encounter was the physical structures and rituals of worship, then how could he pass on the true inheritance of faith? It took twenty years of hardship, deceit, and wrestling before he finally received a transformational blessing at Bethel.
It is a broken life that can receive the true blessing from heaven and can fill the next generation with this blessing
God is looking for men and women who will hold the torch of Christ for the next generation, but what are we passing down? Have we handed over a living faith, or have we replaced it with religious activities and programs? We focus on events and structures, forgetting that programs will fade, titles will lose meaning, buildings will crumble, and party spirits will be judged. No stone of these things will remain upon another. If that is all we leave behind, what will remain? What eternal inheritance will we leave for those who come after us?
So, we must ask ourselves: Are we living out a faith worth following?
Now is time to Arise!
Clergyman, Man of God, Christian parents, now is the time to arise from complacency.
For twenty years it appears Isaac did not see his son Jacob—the very one meant to inherit the covenant blessing. Yet, unlike the father of the prodigal son, who watched daily for his son’s return and ran to embrace him when he saw him afar off, Isaac probably did not rise in prayer, seeking God for his lost child – whom he sent on exile (like Matthew Henry described). He did not cry out to God for Jacob, nor did he intervene to restore him. Are we satisfied with our ministries while our sons and daughters are lost?
It is a costly mistake to send your child on a long journey to a foreign land (among unbelievers) for a long time when they are not established in the faith.
It is dangerous to be content with sermons, religious gatherings, and outward success while our lost sons and daughters remain captive in the ‘house of Laban’. Their youthfulness is being wasted, their spiritual inheritance squandered, their potential drained by a world that knows how to exploit their passion without spiritual wisdom (Genesis 31:6, 26-29, 37-42).
It is not shameful to go after them. If God says your children are broken, seek them out. If they are trapped in sin, deception, or worldly distractions, do not wait for them to return on their own—go after them with prayer, love, and truth.
Man of God, do not go to the grave satisfied with your ministry while your sons and daughters remain missing from the faith. There is joy in heaven over every lost soul that returns—join that celebration.
Men like Laban (religious idolater) recognize young people who are passionate but lack spiritual discernment. They know how to exploit a youth’s religious zeal, dreams, and resourcefulness for their own gain.
The question is: will our children be equipped with true faith, or will they become easy prey?
Prayer
Lord, please help me to live a life of godly faith that my children can find worthy of emulation. May my example lead them closer to You, and may they see Your love and truth in all I do. Amen.
